Heights of Stupidity

Kind of an oxymoron - I suppose it should be depths of stupidity.

I continue to be astounded by the stupid things people say. I know I said I've heard the stupidest thing ever, but I'm pretty sure this beats all:

"If women don't want children, don't get pregnant."

Let me ask you something, Nick. Have you ever been pregnant? Have you heard of rape? Accidents? Unwanted pregancies happen for all kinds of reasons, most of which are not the woman's fault. Of course, you're a man, so you wouldn't understand.

No, that's a lie. I'm sure there are men that understand. You're obviously just stupid. Never mind pro-life.

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JAG

Happy Halloween, Bitches!

Who's celebrating?



I would dearly love to dress up and go to a Halloween party, but sadly, it's not a big tradition in Australia, and I don't know anyone throwing a party.



I would also love to go trick or treating. Is it as fun as it sounds?



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JAG

Dr, Dr, Give Me the News

I've been watching the first season of House, and it's made me realise how much respect I have for doctors. Not people like House, brilliant though he may be, but doctors and surgeons in general. I'm a quesy person - I can't watch any "medical" show (drama or otherwise) that shows any kind of surgery or operation, no matter how minor. That's why I have the utmost respect for people who can deal with that kind of thing, because I simply can't imagine it. They also have probably one of the most important jobs, because they help save and deliver lives, which requires incredible strength of character and ability. I think what they do is amazing. Of course, it's devastating to hear about "Dr Deaths," but fortunately, not all doctors are like that.

I know I have several readers who are med students. So tell me; why do you want to become doctors?

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JAG

Feeling Into Words

I was inspired by Blue~Flame's beautiful post, so I'd thought I'd share some sentiments from the past week:

Late night revelations
Impromtu corridor parties
Wishing on a prayer
Rational emotion
Reality check
Part time insomniacs
Groovy smoothies
Almost study
Procrastination desination
Tempting summer
Too much work
Too much time
Last lectures
Mistaken identity
Azure mornings
Freashly mown lawn
Sneezing daisies
Sunny breezes
Friday night gelato
Shake it
Teary distress
Indecisive hours
Chocolate netball
Short skirts
Not available
Too many brownies
The Last Supper
Uncertain future
Sideways glances
Hopeful tomorrows

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JAG

Seattle Post-Intelligence

Blogging for Culture Media, I came across some cartoons over at seattlepi.com by David Horsey which are hilarious as well as being clever and highly political.

Here are a few of my favourites:























[Image]






















[Image]























[Image]

His Sarah Palin cartoons are absolutely classic.

But this is still arguably my favourite "flair" on Facebook:








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JAG

SATC

Best line ever:

Carrie: Why didn't you call me?
Mr Big: Why didn't you call me?

Sums up my views of Carrie Bradshaw and relationships in general - that is, they're a two way street.

Watching season 1, I can't help but think "God, Carrie, would it kill you to wear a bra every once and a while?!"

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JAG

Puh-leeze

Daily drinking leads to inner happiness?


What a joke.


I'm a not a wowser, nor a complete teetotaller (because I don't completely abstain, nor do I advocate that others shouldn't drink - they're free to make their own choices) but you all know that more often than not I don't drink and I certainly don't get drunk.


So I strongly disagree that "teetotallers [are] 'most miserable.'" In fact, I think it's up there with one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

I may be upset and stressed and moody sometimes, but for the most part, I'm impossibly excitable and optimistic. I have fantastic friends. I have fun when I go out. I love to dance. Music cheers me up. I love me a good party. I'm enjoying college life more than anything. I can honestly say that I'm happy, which I attribute to the people in my life.


I can't say for sure that daily drinkers aren't the "happiest," but as someone who doesn't drink very much, let alone on a daily basis, I can say that it isn't "the key to inner happiness."


(And I would like to note that "results of the survey contrast with Salvation Army research released this week that found one in four Australians said alcohol had a negative impact on them or their family.")


I would agree that drinking as a social activity makes people happy, but drinking itself is not the cause. Furthermore, you don't have to drink to socialise or have a good time - both of these things can be done sober. I hear that a glass of wine every now and again is good for your health, but alcohol is a drug, so while it might make you feel happy, that's not the same as happiness, and certainly not inner happiness.


Besides, everyone knows that sober people are smarter.


So don't be deceived. We sober people can not only have an awesome time, but we can remember the good times we have.


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JAG

Facebook: The Backlash Begins?

Sickie faker busted by Facebook.

(LOL)






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JAG

Spotted

On the 55 tram to West Coburg: a man slumped in his seat, snoozing, "The Big Sleep" (the "First 50" orange Penguin edition) laid open in his lap.

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JAG

A is for Apocalypso

Unfortunately I didn't get to watch the ARIAs last night, co-hosted by my two favourite comedians/radio hosts, Hamish and Andy.

It was pretty much a night for teenage "sensation" Gabriella Cilmi, who I'm personally not too sweet on, but she sings those really catchy songs that get stuck in your head (she's only 17, which is pretty impressive, and unlike Miley Cyrus she actually has talent, so I approve) winning all 6 awards she was nominated for and The Presets, who are, like, awesome, and won 3 awards for their electronica/dance album Apocalypso.

My People:




Are You The One?


They are my dancing gods.

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JAG

Dexter

The charm of Dexter is that you like him; while he's slightly creepy, he has a great (if unusual) sense of humour and despite what he may say, he has a heart. Which means he isn't quite the cold-blooded killer he sells himself as.



There are a lot of classic Dexter quotes, such as "just because he's not a criminal doesn't mean he's not an asshole," and "nothing goes bump in Dexter's night." My brother’s is “surprise, motherfucker!” (Doakes, obviously.)



Mine is from Season 2 - either the penultimate or final show - (not really spoilerish) because it makes me laugh every time.

“It’s strange to have a creation out there, a deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up. I wonder if this is how parents feel.”

What's yours?

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JAG

Please Don't Stop the Music

When all else fails, music is a great comfort.



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JAG

Maybe...just maybe, there's a chance for me yet

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JAG

I wish it didn't hurt this much

But it does.


Just another dream that won't come true, I guess. And I didn't realise how much I had my heart set on it until now, until it's not going to happen.


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JAG

[Image]

You know, I've been thinking the same thing...

I'm pretty sure it reads "It's only a matter of time..."

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JAG

Skippy, the bush kangaroo tucker

Got to love those overseas headlines about the "Australia's Stern," Ross Garnaut himself, who has been known to say some fairly uninformed things in his time:

Australians 'should eat kangaroo' in fight against climate change (this one's my favourite)
Australians urged to eat kangaroo
Eating kangaroos could help fight global warming: scientist
A baaa-d idea? Aussie sheep made to wear gas masks so scientists can see how their breath can affect climate (Or maybe just a really baaa-d joke...)

And some amusing Australian responses:

A few roos loose in Garnaut's top paddock? (this one cracks me up - the expression is "a few roos loose in the top paddock," slang, meaning not all there)
Eat kangas, not cows says Garnaut
Up and down like kangaroo futures

In short: Farmers laugh off scientist's roo muster idea

The thing is...he actually said it.

Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.

I'm also trying to prove him wrong in my climate change essay, about how Australia shouldn't wait for an "international agreement" that may never come to dictate their carbon emission cuts, but should take the lead for once and act now, knowing that Australia has a lot to lose from the impact of climate change.

I'm not sure which side of the fence I fall, though. I mean, Australian emissions cuts mean nothing if economies like the States and China just keeping on pumping out GHGs.* On the other hand, every little bit counts, right? And action is better than no action. Unless, of course, it's expensive and it's not really making any impact. But any change for the future is good, isn't it, that brings us closer to zero emissions by 2050?

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JAG

*GHGs = the new CFCs; that's greenhouse gases.

Burn After Reading

I don't care if this film isn't supposed to be very good, I'm still intrigued:



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JAG

PostSecret is beautiful

Found on the PostSecret 'Secrets that make you smile' forum.

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JAG

Oh what a pickle we're in...

If climate change is "moral challenge of our generation" and "the failure of our generation would lead to consequences that would haunt humanity until the end of time," what should we do about it?

Should we do anything? Do we owe future generations?

Do developed countries owe the world's poorest countries, who are most likely going to suffer the most from climate change, compensation or adaptation aid?

Should developed countries, being the primary emitters of greenhouse gases, shoulder the burden of emissions cuts, or does a global problem require a global solution?

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JAG

Some things just weren't meant to cross the Pacific

Like Kath and Kim, for example.

I don't know if anyone - Australian or American - tuned in on Sunday night local time (I don't know when it screened in the States) but trust me, you didn't miss anything.

(Did anyone tune in? Do Americans even care about K&K: The Fakes in the States over there?)

Oh my lord it was terrible. Absolutely, utterly cringe-worthy.

The New York Post calls it "arguably the worst idea for an import from the Land Down Under since Vegemite."

(Seriously, though; what's wrong with Vegemite? And Cheesymites? Mmmm...cheesymites...)

Kath and Kim - the real show, not the imposter - was clever, funny, witty, and didn't take itself seriously. It was feel good and fun.

NYP goes on to say that "the big difference between the show in Australia and its dish-water copy here is that (at least as far as entertainment goes), Australian producers know how to make fun of themselves. American TV people prefer to make fun of everybody else."

I'm telling you: it was actually painful to watch.

This should not deter you from the Australia version, which actually has substance and a plot.

Speaking of decent home-grown tv shows, I've become hooked on Rush, a police drama set in our very own Melbourne. It's a drama, with a bit of a love life thrown in, some near-death incidents, car chases, young hooligans, shooting, hostages, ransoms, animal activists, underage drinking, family issues and so on. Just your typical cop show. For an Australian show - and a cop show - it's pretty good.

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JAG

Nerdy Conscience

I feel so guilty about not going to tutes that I eventually talk myself out of skipping them. Even if I have a 2000 word essay due on Friday that I haven't started yet.

Which, as it happens, I do.

Chopin is soothing though, bless the man.

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JAG

Greatest Songs Ever?!

According to Rolling Stone, the top 10 of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time are:

1. "Like a Rolling Stone" – Bob Dylan (1965)


2. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" – The Rolling Stones (1965)


3. "Imagine" – John Lennon (1971)


4. "What's Going On" – Marvin Gaye (1971)


5. "Respect" – Aretha Franklin (1967)


6. "Good Vibrations" – The Beach Boys (1966)


7. "Johnny B. Goode" – Chuck Berry (1958)


8. "Hey Jude" – The Beatles (1968)


9. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" – Nirvana (1991)


10. "What'd I Say" – Ray Charles (1959)

[Full list]

I'd say I agree, more or less - not sure about Good Vibrations, but the Beach Boys are an awesome band nonetheless. (L, you probably already know this, but California Dreamin' is #89.) I was glad to see some of my favourite Simon & Garfunkel and Elton John songs make the list, as well as classics from The Who, Aretha Franklin and Guns N Roses. I probably would have rated Stairway to Heaven, Hotel California and Free Bird higher, but it's a tough call.

The Greatest 500 Bands of All Time list is slightly more constroversial, because of their apparent "generational bias" towards the 60s and 70s (overall, 67.6% of albums rated were from the 50s-70s, and the first 10 albums were all produced in the 60s). But what can they say - it arguably was the era for producing classic, enduring music that lives on today.

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles
2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys
3. Revolver, The Beatles
4. Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan
5. Rubber Soul, The Beatles
6. What's Going On, Marvin Gaye
7. Exile on Main Street, The Rolling Stones
8. London Calling, The Clash
9. Blonde on Blonde, Bob Dylan
10. The Beatles ("The White Album"), The Beatles

[Full list]

Sgt Pepper's Lonley Hearts Club Band is a fantastic album, but so are almost all the Beatles albums. They deserve to be up there. And the Stones are my gods. I'm glad AC/DC got a mention, at #73 and #199. I don't agree with the inclusion of Eminem - come on, there are way better albums - not to mention artists - out there.

Compare/contrast with the RIAA's top 10 from their list of 100, based on how many times an album went platinum (listed in brackets);

1. (29) EAGLES/THEIR GREATEST HITS 1971 - 1975, THE EAGLES
2. (27) THRILLER JACKSON, MICHAEL
3. (23) LED ZEPPELIN IV, LED ZEPPELIN
4. (23) THE WALL, PINK FLOYD
5. (22) BACK IN BLACK, AC/DC <-- there's my boys!
6. (21) GREATEST HITS VOLUME I & VOLUME II JOEL, BILLY
7. (21) DOUBLE LIVE, GARTH BROOKS
8. (20) COME ON OVER, SHANIA TWAIN
9. (19) THE BEATLES, THE BEATLES
10. (19) RUMOURS, FLEETWOOD MAC

Granted, popular isn't always what's best, but it's usually a pretty good indication of taste, right?

I found this comment on YouTube:

• "the artists of our yester-years..are waayyyy much better than the so-called artists of today..."

What do you think? I would probably never tell my father - who thinks that the pop music I listen to sucks, whilst I tell him his music is too old - I tend to agree.

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JAG

Sunny smiles

It's a beautiful, sunny 28.2 degrees Down Under in Melbourne with nary a cloud in sight. Finally - it feels like Spring!



Unfortunately, it brings with it the "spring sneeze," aka hayfever, because everything down here - despite the Big Dry - is bloomin' green (pun intended.)



On a day like this, not only do I not want to be stuck inside doing all the work I have to do, but I just want to listen to 60s music. So upbeat and cheerful.




The Easybeats sure knew their stuff.




Possibly one of my favourite songs ever.

Time to smile, Spring is here!

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JAG

I ♥ CB

Before you're all "oooh, who's CB, eh?!" it's Charlie Brown, silly people, that "loveable loser, a child possessed of endless determination and hope, but who is ultimately dominated by his insecurities and a "permanent case of bad luck", and often taken advantage of by his peers."

(Please tell me you've all heard of him. Or read him. At least once.)


[Image]

He manages his baseball team to straight losing streaks every season, without fail (no pun intended); he has his heart set on the little red-headed girl, who he can't bear to tell how he feels; he never receives any Valentines; his dog, Snoopy, often thinks he's a pilot in WWII, and refuses to go to the vet for needles; he can't fly kites; he constantly goes to Lucy for advice, who usually tells him he's "wishy washy;" he constantly says "good grief!;" oh, and he's a super delegate in the upcoming election. (What? You didn't know?)


[Image]

Apparently, the red-headed girl is based on cartoonist Charles Schulz's girlfriend:

The infamous Little Red-Haired girl was based on an actual woman named Donna Mae Johnson whom he courted for a time, though she was holding out for a boyhood friend whom she had grown up with in the local Lutheran church. Though the relationship was serious, it ultimately was used to wake the other suitor out of his romantic slumber by way of jealousy. Donna Mae Johnson loved Schulz, but could not imagine a life wedded to that of a cartoonist, and convention won out in the end. For Schulz, the impact of losing her was profound, and if the comment of a former girlfriend is true—that he had to be refused in order to fall in love—it is no surprise that he had a long standing affection for her that was weaved into the heart of Charlie Brown.











Aw. We hear ya, Charlie Brown.

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JAG

The Internet

One Laptop Per Child.
Google.
Facebook.
YouTube.
Hotmail.
IM.

























[Savage Chicken]

Good?
Bad?
Ugly?































[Cartoon Church]

Politics.
Publishing
Piracy.
Pornography.
Plagiarism.
Privacy.
Peer to peer.
Playing games.
























[The Internet.]

Education.
Information.
Change?
Progress?
The Future?

Discuss.

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JAG

Even I Understand the Concept

Nerdy guy: I don't understand what the significance of the number 69 is. Can someone explain it to me?
Girl: You go to NYU and you don't know that? (nerdy guy shakes his head)
Girl: To put it bluntly, it's two people giving each other head.
Nerdy guy: Wait, but what does that mean?
Girl: Oh my god...I can't tell you that now. You're the most innocent guy here. It would be like killing a unicorn.

--Kimmel Center, NYU

Guy selling Big Issue [singing/chanting]: This Big Issue is sure to impress [to girl walking past] just like you in that little black dress!

--Bourke St

High school girl #1: I need hair extentions...I mean, look at how short my hair is. It's like lesbian hair!
High school girl #2: It's funny, because it's sort of true.
[They get off at Hair Warehouse]

--on the number 1 tram to Melbourne University

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JAG

Slash Has History - Who Knew?

No, not Slash, top hat wearing guitarist for Guns N Roses, or slash, the kind of fanfic I know you thought of when you read this title, but slash, that little forwards or backwards symbol on your keyboard, next to the question mark and thing respectively.

(I can't believe that, like K, I'm actually devoting an entire post to punctuation.)

Oh come on, you know him: /. (Or his backwards brother \, who was born a few minutes later.)

Ah yes, you say. Him.* (Or, I suppose, them.)

My point (of the title) is, this little stroke of punctuation that serves the purpose of division and implication actually has a Wikipedia page, like just about everything else on the planet and whatever may be in outer space. (I can't remember how I discovered this; just clicking around Wikipedia, as per usual. Gemini would be proud.)

Did you know, for example, that this little guy is also called virgule, diagonal, stroke, forward slash, oblique dash, slant, separatrix, scratch comma, or whack? That it dates back to the days of Ancient Rome?

I've developed a fondness (from another friend, who started this last year) for saying the word "slash" in conversation, when indicating my use of the punctuation, eg: "I can't be bothered slash I don't want to slash I'm too tired," to the great ire of several other good friends. I was so enamoured with the word, I also learned how to say it in Spanish (raya), which I slipped into English conversation.

But what else can you say to denote him?

He might not be the prettiest punctuation on the keyboard, but he's a useful little fellow, probably more so than we realise, and he makes for some pretty groovy typefaces.

Probably my favourite use of punctuation, though, is this age-old, likely-mythological tale:

An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman: without her, man is nothing.”

And that, class, concludes today's lesson in Punctuation Appreciation 101!


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JAG


*He seems like a him, OK? Unlike, oh, I don't know, the feminine *, who loves to dress up for parties, or, um, ~, who likes long walks on the beach.

Obiden vs. McPalin, aka Team Change vs. Team Maverick

I watched both the Presidential Debate two weeks ago and the Vice Presidential debate last week. It wasn’t quite what I expected; just a platform for spouting the party line, but without being remotely interesting or passionate or entertaining or even much of a debate, except for the obvious party differences, which are just about every policy/belief. Ironically, I didn’t even watch the PM debate here last year, but I gather it was a bit more two and fro.

The Prez Debate was by far the most boring, comparatively speaking. There were three things that came out of it for each candidate;
McCain:
- I’m not George Bush
- the surge (i.e. Iraq War) is successful
- I was a prisoner

Obama:
- McCain supported the Bush administration in voting 96%, therefore, McCain = Bush
- I will do things differently to the Bush administration
- I am CHANGE!

Obama usually referred to McCain was “John,” but McCain always referred to Obama as “Senator Obama.”

The VP debate was far more interesting. This debate asked tough questions, such as Palin’s experience and Biden’s lack of discipline being their Achilles heel, and how they would run their administration differently should the worst happen to their counterparts in office (both said they would follow in their co-candidates’ policies, and proceeded to illustrate them).

This debate was also more light-hearted; though they both took it seriously, there were smiles, laughter and - god forbid - jokes. They both acknowledged the good work the others had done and the respect they had for each other, which was nice to see.

The best call was when Biden called McCain’s policy on health care and taxes “a bridge to nowhere” (when, finally, the audience “ooohed”!)

In short -
Palin: I’m a soccer mom, middle class, Governor and we at McPalin are mavericks! We will do what is best for the people. Did I mention that we’re mavericks?

Biden: I’m fair, patriotic, a people’s man and I may have voted against Obama in the past and said he was not ready to be Commander-in-Chief, but gosh darn it I support him now!

Palin deftly avoided saying she didn’t believe that humans caused climate change by saying “what matters is what we’re going to do about it.” Biden rightfully pointed out that without knowing the cause, you can’t properly fix the problem.

Gwen (moderator) had to keep steering the debate back towards the question as both candidates seemed determined to show both what their colleague proposed and the “fundamental difference” between what their opposing ticket supported. She also tried to steer the candidates towards actually answering the questions; the first (and just about only) direct answer was half an hour in; Palin said “yes” (when pressed) as to whether she would have supported (as McCain did) last year’s bankruptcy bill.

I was glad to hear same-sex rights brought up; Governor Palin clearly said that she would not support the extension of same-sex rights from Alaska throughout the country if it meant changing the “traditional definition of marriage” (no surprises there.) I was disappointed, however, to hear that Biden also agreed that he does not support same-sex marriage, though he supports same-sex civil rights. I don’t know how you can support one and not the other, but apparently he and Obama do (I love the way Word tells me I misspelled Obama, and it should be Osama).

The ultimate irony was Palin accusing Obama of “naïveté” in saying he would sit down to talks with world leaders without preconditions, calling it “bad judgement and dangerous.”

Biden – as Obama did – again accused McCain’s policies of being the same as George Bush’s several times, finally coming outright to say that John McCain is not the maverick Palin proclaimed him to be at least five times throughout the debate.

I thought it was most touching when Biden looked like he was about to cry as he talked about raising his children as a single parent.

A very accurate and very, very funny spoof from SNL.

More SNL/Tina Fey Sarah Palin (full version):



An Alaskan hockey mom becomes Vice President in the wackiest family comedy of the year! Sound familiar?

Because I’m insanely curious bordering on mostly nosy, who of my largely American readers is going to vote in this election (which Biden calls the most important election of our lives)? You don’t have to tell me who you’re going to vote for, but you know I’d love to know…

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JAG

Blake Lively is my kinda gal

I recently read an article in which I found out Blake Lively doesn't drink (and has only ever kissed 3 guys - not that that's important, but it kind of makes me feel better.)

[American in Paris photoshoot]

Suddenly, I have newfound respect for the girl.

Cheers to that, Blake!

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JAG

Friday Night Lights on LSD

I like taking photos of lights. In particular, I like taking fuzzy, shaken, blurred or out of focus photos of lights, so that they appear very differently.

Last week - at the start of the holidays - I went to the AFL semi-finals of Geelong vs the Bulldogs, before Geelong dropped their load spectacularly and lost the Grand Final. What Grand Final? I'm not talking about it. Anyway, great game, if a little scrappy - certainly not their best, but they won, so I wasn't complaining.

On the way to and from the game, I took some pictures of the city lights by night, with some of the more basic functions on my camera in order to create that crazy kind of effect of lights on drugs (or me on drugs, sans the drugs.)

The MCG

The CBD

Ferris wheel!

(I've tasted blood and I want more) More more more.

10 points to whoever can tell me the song and/or film the above line is from (funnily enough, it's not Draculaaaaa.)

(Googling is cheating!! And I will know...)

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JAG