3PT*

*That stands for 3 Punctual Things.

• Apostrophes drive me straight up the wall. It's not the apostrophes' fault - it's the dumbass people who frequently misuse them and consequently send me into a tailspin, because I see it everywhere. What happened to all the editors in the world? Did they forget the basic rules of grammar? Did they lose their copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves? DID THEY ALL HAVE A MEETING TO CONSPIRE AGAINST ME? In the eternal words of Osbourne Cox, "what the fuck"?! An IGA ad proudly proclaims "1000's of new stores;" in Target AND Big W, there are many "DVD's" and "CD's" on sale; the 80's and 90's are making quite the comeback. IT IS HURTING MY EYES, EVERYWHERE I TURN. For goodness sake people, this is primary school stuff.
  
  If it is a contraction (i.e. it is = it's, do not = don't), use an apostrophe to denote the missing letter/s. If someone owns it, use an apostrophe to denote ownership: Sarah's new car is green. Your husband loves you, not love's you. You can't have it both ways; it's either Dad's pretty daughters or Dads with pretty daughters.
  
  I know that "its" looks funny without an apostrophe and people throw one in just for good measure, figuring it can't hurt, BUT IT DOES. It's not hard, people, but its significance is far reaching.
  

• Your stupid.
  You're bag is over there.
  WRONG!
  This one is easy. You're is CLEARLY a contraction for you are. You're funny. You're pretty. CONTRACTION. See above. Your means yours, as in you OWN it. Your life. Your lack of grammar, &tc.
  

• Who's is this?
  Whose this?
  WRONG!
  Whose means who does it belong to? Possessive. Ownership. Who's means who is coming to dinner? Who is that at the door? WHO IS GOING TO BLOODY PUNCTUATE PROPERLY?!
  

So, in summary: call me pedantic, obsessive, OCD, I don't care; but bad grammar just makes me [sic].



x
JAG

PS: Let it be known that I have faith in my readership not requiring such lessons. This simply serves as venting space against the stupidity of the world.