The Boy, to be exact. But what else is new?
What do you do when The Boy is a friend? Do you tell Him, at risk of losing your friendship? I've had few qualms in the past about telling a Boy, because it's easy to admire from afar, risk your heart and then when he doesn't give it back, move on. But what if he's a good friend? It sounds like the premise from a bad chick flick...I'm usually one to take a chance, to say "well what if he likes you back?" because I'd rather not live in wonder, and I've always thought the biggest regrets are the things we didn't do, rather than those we did...because at least we tried. But this time, I'm not sure. Because I'm not sure what I feel, and I don't want to ruin what we have.
I also had a really interesting conversation weekend before last with a couple of girls from college around my fireside. We were talking about a couple in college - well, they're not actually a couple, but I thought they were, because I knew they like(d) each other, and they're always together. Anyway, we were discussing why he hadn't asked her out yet, when everyone knows they're meant for each other, but he's too shy. I was ardently campaigning that she should ask him out - it is, after all, the 21st century, and isn't that what female empowerment is all about? And my friends all went what? So I said why should it be up to him? Aren't guys just as insecure as us when it comes to this kind of thing? Isn't he just as uncertain that she might like him as she is of him? Why should it be his prerogative?
What say you, fair and far more experienced readers? ;-)
x
JAG
7 comments:
I was in the same situation. I told him, almost lost the friendship and now I am reacquiring it but it was all me, it still is I suppose. I told him in a hast. I rushed myself, but I was sure of what I felt and I don't regret doing it. Not one bit. And nothing wrong in a girl taking the initiative. I think we should, if it were left to the guys, I would never get the guys I like :P. (Nerds don't come forward!)
I don't know what to tell you though. My friends somewhat don't like the fact that I still try and be there for my boy, but they don't know the friendship. Its never lost, as long as you are ready for the ride :)
Haha, I never regretted asking him out, you know that! What we went through was a mess, but well, we're still best friends. I think a girl should totally ask the guy out, even if it's not about female empowerment, simply because she likes him so much :)
Check mail, check mail, check mail...
I know some girls that have done that, just gotten fed up and been all "Hey, so my friends and I are going out for drinks, want to come along?" and then after drinks taking the boy somewhere else alone.
Or being somewhat more subtle and all like "oh, you're hosting a party? that sounds fun, i wish i had something to do this weekend hint hint."
Then again, Australia is backwards. Maybe women aren't equal there.
-jdl
P.S. OR JUST MAYBE they're just friends?
I told the boy. I acted upon it actually. I kissed him, when all he had done was hold my hand. That day, that night that I kissed him in the dark, that day changed my life. I left feeling butterflies I had never felt before. I smiled the silliest smiles I had ever allowed my muscles to make and I giggled, and jittered and I felt sick to the stomach because it was so nice. But the next time we talked, we told each other that no matter what. No matter what - we would still be friends. And after a six month relationship, a trip halfway across the world and the worst betrayal imaginable, we've grown and accepted each other and we're still friends. No matter what. I'll always care and I'll always want to be his friend even though I'm in a better place now than ever before. In the end, all the heartbreak and sleepless nights and friends lost and found was worth it. I think that if your friendship has a strong base, you know that he won't think you're stupid and that he'll always want to be your friend, that you should tell him.
Oh and the guy asking the girl vs. the girl asking the guy thing is so arbitrary, at least in Sweden or as I've experienced it. If you like one another, just ask the other one out. I don't think it's gonna jeopardize his masculinity or whatever :P In fact, they make like the initiative. Like my current boy did. :P haha.
*agrees with anahita* :)
xoxox
oh, and I also want a boyfriend from hogwarts! preferably harry. Or oliver wood. mm.
Aw thank you everybody! You've inspired me. I may yet tell Him...the only question is how. It sounds like if a friendship is made to last, it will, and if it doesn't, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Thank you for sharing your stories! I really appreciate it, and have much admiration for you all. :D
love to y'all,
x
JAG
eeeek
its so hard when you like a friend..cause u never know how he feels about you and how they would react if you told them!
i've been in that situation many times. i was going to post a story about it but then the comment turned out to be like a mini essay lol.
so my advice to you, think about what you will do in GREAT DETAIL! don't rush forward and say 'i like you' when he could really just see a friendship between you guys.
Keep your friendship and just continue to develop it. In the future, if you see signs that he likes you, well then maybe ask him out but if you don't really see the signs then just keep a friendship.
its better to have a friendship with no benefits then no friendship :P
guys as mates are awesome! :)
argh i have so many stories what ur going through atm. let me know if u need further advice hahah. xoxox
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