A Modern Take on King Lear

In the midst of frantic revision of King Lear, Whitman, Woolf and Conrad for next week's unseen English oral, I was sent this by a friend, as her own interpretation of Act 1, Sc. 1;

Act 1 scene 1:

Lear: Hey babes, want some land?

Kids: Heck yes daddy!!!

Lear: OK then, say I’m hot…

Gonie: You are like… totally way hot dad!!! Any of the mums at medieval school would do you…

Lear: Cha ching!!! What about you Reggie?

Reggie: Hey pappa, well forget the mums at school… anyone would tap that… you are like SOOO hot!

Lear: I guess so….What about you Cordial?

Cordial: Dad you are ugly

Lear: Bitch

Cordial: Psyche!!!

The end

If I get this passage, I will laugh so hard! The best part is, it actually is an extremely modern/cool/hip (etc) "adaptation" of Lear - Paris Hilton style!

What would Shakespeare think?

This in mind; who's the bitch - Lear or Cordial Cordelia?

x
Just a girl

NB: No disrespect to Shakespeare or King Lear intended.